11 Rules For A Popular Blog

1. Use a catchy and provocative name that either piques interest or induces vomiting. A harsh, insulting name will instigate trouble and create traffic, exponentially boosting your popularity.
2. Write exclusively on contentious subjects that people love arguing about. Be sure to make it personal. Calling names keeps the readers involved.
3. Limit your topics to mundane things. People love talking endlessly about their day, no matter how repetitious or boring it may be. Whatever you do, do not challenge them to think outside their ‘boxes’.
4. Be real, but not too real. People hate being reminded of their own realities when it leads to greater self-awareness.
5. Seem enigmatic. People love mysteries like that.
6. Be a whistleblower. The world is always curious about those who have left a faith, government agency, or strict religious cult. They want to know your dirty little secrets.
7. Be hateful or racist. Picking fights is a good way to get attention.
8. Copy and paste a lot. The more the better. No one cares what you think anyhow, so why mess with work that’s already finished? Saves a lot of time from doing rough drafts and proof-reading, too.
9. Don’t waste time on diction or grammar. People generally are forgiving of the illiterate, and the content will also escape scrutiny (as long as it doesn’t violate any of the aforementioned rules, 1-7)
10. Forget about being artistic. Nobody cares. “A picture may be worth a thousand words”, but no one reads more than 200 at a time, especially if they are ‘big’.
11. Do not intellectualize. Too much thought is dangerous for most people. Thinking also leads one to use more than 200 words per posting and, if you want your blog to be popular, that is a huge no-no. (See rule 10)