Service With A Smile (Avos 1:5)

Many Orthodox Jewish congregations have a custom, during the six weeks between Passover and the Pentecost, to read a chapter from the Ethics of the Fathers, known in Hebrew as Pirkei Avos. This part of the Mishnah is a short collection of moral, ethical, and philosophical adages and saying of the Sages.

Pirkei Avos provides an excellent overview of rabbinic Jewish ethics and ideals. Its teachings are often taken not only as very sound advice for specific situations, but as eternal truths stemming from the influence of Divine wisdom gathered through rigorous study and devotion to Torah. The Bartenura, a commentary on Pirkei Avos, cites this in his first comments of Chapter One, and concludes that even if other philosophical or ethical works say exactly the same things; those philosophers were speaking from self-serving motives and not from a divinely inspired source. This is why, according to the Bartenura, that gentile systems of ethics are inadequate.

The Talmud (Bava Kama 30a) says that in order to become a truly pious Jew one must adhere to the teachings of Pirkei Avos. It is for this reason that Pirkei Avos is so widely read and followed. It is also, at first glance, very easy to read and comprehend. There are no obscure references to ritual, no intricate debates over minutiae, and the entire text is in Mishnaic Hebrew and easily translated. Newcomers to Jewish learning are often steered to these teachings in order to familiarize themselves with the ethical attitude which provides the grounding for the fulfillment of the Torah.

I considered writing a full commentary on the entire tract, but once I realized the scope of the undertaking that idea quickly vanished. I am sure that many of you will take issue with my take on the Sages advice and wisdom. I am also certain I will be bombarded with ‘legitimate’ alternative sources and arguments, meaning that only interpretations and explanations that fit into the sources already accepted by the Orthodox community are valued; all others, mine included, be damned.

Here goes!

1:5 “Yose ben Yochanan, man of Jerusalem, says: Allow your home to be wide open, treat the poor as you would your own children, and don’t talk too much to the wife. (This ends the words of YbY and the compiler adds a few notes of his own.) They said this even regarding one’s own wife. How much more it applies when referring to someone else’s! From here the Sages conclude that anyone who engages in conversation with the wife (or any other woman) causes evil to himself, neglects the Torah, and his end will be in Hell.”

Parts one and two tell us to open our homes to those in need and to treat them with the same deference, respect, and care that we would show to any of our beloved family members. The meaning here is to remind us not to condescend to those less fortunate when they arrive at our home in their hour of desperation. One should never say “If the pauper comes to me for help then I can treat him anyway I like. If he doesn’t like it he can find food elsewhere!” As a host, one is not only bound to supply biological needs, but also instill a sense of honor and dignity for those he assists, since they, too, have emotional needs. Their desperate state does not grant anyone the right to denigrate their person. Parts one and two ask us to combine open giving with dignity. It seems straight forward enough.

Part two (dignity), however, appears redundant. One might ask “How could charity be without dignity? Isn’t it a commandment?” One would think that all commands are filled in a spirit of dignity. Fact is that without poorer people the rich among us might not ever have the opportunity to perform a kindness! Their situation, bad as it seems, offers an opportunity. So we have to wonder if YbY is speaking of all times or just for one specific time where it might be much more difficult to keep up a patient front and an open door. It is for this reason that YbY is described as a ‘man of Jerusalem’, which denotes someone of high stature and wealth in a very specific geographical locale.

The Torah commands (Exodus 23:17) “Three times a year all of your males must appear before the face of the Master, Yhvh.” It was mandatory for each Jewish male to make the pilgrimage to the Temple in Jerusalem on the festivals of Passover, Tabernacles, and Pentecost. It is also likely that men brought their entire family into Jerusalem for the event, even if they could not enter the Temple grounds. Imagine for a moment if every man, woman, and child in the entire state of Israel were to simultaneously pack up and seek food and lodging within the walls of Jerusalem. Consider how crowded and noisy the streets would become; overloaded with the various dialects and attitudes that make up the 12 Tribes of Israel. Such an event, even in ancient times, would make rush hour in Manhattan feel like the open plains of North Dakota.

It is in this particular situation that Yose ben Yochanan has to remind us to continue to deliver charity with dignity. The stress one might endure from having of thousands of people thronging to the city, filling the streets, knocking on doors seeking lodging or food, the long lines at stores, the animals brought for sacrifice, the smell of sweat and urine, and the vendors of all kinds coming to take advantage of the heavily packed venue. Imagine refugees flooding your home town seeking shelter. That comes with some real pressures. Too many guests for too long a time would throw off the equilibrium of any community, and would lead to a disintegration of manners and hospitality. Have some friends stay over at your home for a couple weeks and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

Therefore, Yose ben Yochanan has to remind us that this dignity is not only based on our sense of fulfilling a Torah precept with proper respect, but also to show a respect due to those who have come from distant regions to fulfill a command of Yhvh. Our hospitality and charity is a two-part benevolence, offering necessities as a means to help others who have come to fulfill a commandment. Just as one would help his own children to fulfill the Torah, so too should we be willing to happily help others do the same.

As he was also called a ‘man of Jerusalem’, his house was likely a well-known destination on this pilgrimage and likely of some renown for some distance outside the walls of the city. Every knowledgeable traveler knows where the good soup kitchens are found and which of the rich neighborhoods would accept a lodger if need be. I suspect that Yosi ben Yochanan’s patience was tested more than once in that harrowing situation, and therefore he comes now to offer advice about keeping one’s cool under the enormous pressure.

(Note: Some suggest that Yose ben Yochanan was the Chief Judge of the Jerusalem court. One has to wonder why the Mishnah didn’t explicitly say so.)

Commentary on part 3 (the wife part) is under way.

Kol Tuv