A Little 'Thank You' Never Hurts
We live in a thankless world. Only misdeeds and mistakes are ever considered and forever remembered. It is not enough for the world to punish you once, they must remind you over and over, and punish you repeatedly for a slight that wasn’t even an offense directed at them personally. Pay what you must and do your time. Make the necessary amends and admit to your failings. Never be fooled, however. You will not find forgiveness or even tolerance. You will always be seen as who you were, and not who you have become. Your punishment is not fit for the crime, but the outrage stemming from it. The outrage never abates.
The world will be always be able to use you for a scapegoat. Whenever the alleged victim needs a fresh, double-dose of sympathy, he/she can always rely on the faint utterance of your name to elicit unquestioned support from the public. Surely, I am every murderer, every scofflaw, and the embodiment of every evil imaginable. There is no good in me. I am totally evil, vile, and barbaric. I have no redeeming qualities or characteristics. I am worse than a raging animal. I am never to be believed or trusted. I am dangerous. So they would have you believe.
In part, they are correct. I have been angry, depressed, and defiant at times. I have made my mistakes. I have also spent years rectifying those mistakes, and have changed the person I was in to the person I am. No one steps forth to offer me credit or thanks. No one sees the changes and nods his or her head in approval. No one watches the hours of self-reflection and meditation, nor has anyone seen the little kindnesses that pervade my daily life. The blinders they wear are their own making. Maybe life is easier for them when they don’t have to reevaluate things. It’s convenient to have absolute good and evil. It does take some effort to sort things out when all one can see is a huge grey area.
I’ve seen others make profound changes in their lives and I am forever grateful they have done so. I have forgiven others for their mistakes. I cannot be any other way. In this respect I must also find a way to forgive a world that cannot relinquish its prejudices, even when all evidence suggests that doing so would provide a real justice. Oh well. More for me to ponder I guess.
So that the world doesn’t remain a totally thankless place, I am going to thank a few million people right now who probably never hear a ‘thank you’ in their day-to-day lives.
A big giant THANK YOU! goes out to:
1) Parents who do the best they can.
2) Anyone who ever holds a door open for someone else.
3) Everyone who leaves pennies at the cash register for the next person who might need it.
4) Anyone who helps and elderly person with their gardening or a heavy bag of groceries.
5) Anyone who feeds a stray animal or cares for it, even for just a day.
6) Anyone and everyone who makes an honest living, works hard, and pays their taxes.
7) Everyone who obeys speed limits.
8) Anyone who ever felt like getting mad, acting out, and didn’t.
9) Everyone who made sincere efforts to rebuild bridges with loved ones and was rejected.
10) Everyone who ever sent money to a charity that feeds the hungry.
11) Anyone who has offered words of comfort or a hug to those in pain.
12) Anyone who lives with depression or anxiety and yet finds the power to continue.
13) Anyone who came out of a bad life or out from prison and took the effort to be a better human being.
14) Anyone who ever kicked substance abuse or cigarettes.
15) Anyone who has acknowledged personal flaws and resolved to do better.
16) Everyone who teaches anything new to anyone at all.
17) Anyone who ever stood up for anyone who wasn’t there to defend themselves, or too small to do so.
18) Anyone who has had definite ideas about the world, good/evil, or right/wrong, etc., and became willing at some point to reevaluate that position.
But most of all…..
19) Thank you, Janice, for being who you are. I owe you more than I could ever repay in love, money, or life.
There are likely hundreds of things I missed here. Forgive me for not listing them all. I think we really need to begin thanking people for the things they do in life. Those things go unnoticed by the media, by the government, and by most people. Many people thing it's your responsibility and should not require thanks. I disagree. Everyone of you who does any of the above mentioned acts makes this world a kinder and better place, and for what it’s worth, I thank you, even if no one else will.
As for those among us who see retribution and revenge as permanent solutions to everything, I have to express to them my sorrow. I feel sorry for those people. They are missing out on the joys of healing wounds and mending fences. They have no vision of joyful reunion or peaceful resolution. Their lives are consumed in anger.
Make it your job today to thank someone who goes sometimes un-thanked for doing what they do each and every day. Gratitude is a kindness that has powerful effects on the world. A person, when thanked for doing a kindness or making an effort to be better, will work even harder, knowing that his or her efforts are being noticed and appreciated.
Now you know why I become so frustrated.
Kol Tuv
The world will be always be able to use you for a scapegoat. Whenever the alleged victim needs a fresh, double-dose of sympathy, he/she can always rely on the faint utterance of your name to elicit unquestioned support from the public. Surely, I am every murderer, every scofflaw, and the embodiment of every evil imaginable. There is no good in me. I am totally evil, vile, and barbaric. I have no redeeming qualities or characteristics. I am worse than a raging animal. I am never to be believed or trusted. I am dangerous. So they would have you believe.
In part, they are correct. I have been angry, depressed, and defiant at times. I have made my mistakes. I have also spent years rectifying those mistakes, and have changed the person I was in to the person I am. No one steps forth to offer me credit or thanks. No one sees the changes and nods his or her head in approval. No one watches the hours of self-reflection and meditation, nor has anyone seen the little kindnesses that pervade my daily life. The blinders they wear are their own making. Maybe life is easier for them when they don’t have to reevaluate things. It’s convenient to have absolute good and evil. It does take some effort to sort things out when all one can see is a huge grey area.
I’ve seen others make profound changes in their lives and I am forever grateful they have done so. I have forgiven others for their mistakes. I cannot be any other way. In this respect I must also find a way to forgive a world that cannot relinquish its prejudices, even when all evidence suggests that doing so would provide a real justice. Oh well. More for me to ponder I guess.
So that the world doesn’t remain a totally thankless place, I am going to thank a few million people right now who probably never hear a ‘thank you’ in their day-to-day lives.
A big giant THANK YOU! goes out to:
1) Parents who do the best they can.
2) Anyone who ever holds a door open for someone else.
3) Everyone who leaves pennies at the cash register for the next person who might need it.
4) Anyone who helps and elderly person with their gardening or a heavy bag of groceries.
5) Anyone who feeds a stray animal or cares for it, even for just a day.
6) Anyone and everyone who makes an honest living, works hard, and pays their taxes.
7) Everyone who obeys speed limits.
8) Anyone who ever felt like getting mad, acting out, and didn’t.
9) Everyone who made sincere efforts to rebuild bridges with loved ones and was rejected.
10) Everyone who ever sent money to a charity that feeds the hungry.
11) Anyone who has offered words of comfort or a hug to those in pain.
12) Anyone who lives with depression or anxiety and yet finds the power to continue.
13) Anyone who came out of a bad life or out from prison and took the effort to be a better human being.
14) Anyone who ever kicked substance abuse or cigarettes.
15) Anyone who has acknowledged personal flaws and resolved to do better.
16) Everyone who teaches anything new to anyone at all.
17) Anyone who ever stood up for anyone who wasn’t there to defend themselves, or too small to do so.
18) Anyone who has had definite ideas about the world, good/evil, or right/wrong, etc., and became willing at some point to reevaluate that position.
But most of all…..
19) Thank you, Janice, for being who you are. I owe you more than I could ever repay in love, money, or life.
There are likely hundreds of things I missed here. Forgive me for not listing them all. I think we really need to begin thanking people for the things they do in life. Those things go unnoticed by the media, by the government, and by most people. Many people thing it's your responsibility and should not require thanks. I disagree. Everyone of you who does any of the above mentioned acts makes this world a kinder and better place, and for what it’s worth, I thank you, even if no one else will.
As for those among us who see retribution and revenge as permanent solutions to everything, I have to express to them my sorrow. I feel sorry for those people. They are missing out on the joys of healing wounds and mending fences. They have no vision of joyful reunion or peaceful resolution. Their lives are consumed in anger.
Make it your job today to thank someone who goes sometimes un-thanked for doing what they do each and every day. Gratitude is a kindness that has powerful effects on the world. A person, when thanked for doing a kindness or making an effort to be better, will work even harder, knowing that his or her efforts are being noticed and appreciated.
Now you know why I become so frustrated.
Kol Tuv
posted by Shlomo Leib Aronovitz @ 10:42 AM
9 Comments
9 Comments:
Check out http://www.heroicstories.com/. When you subscribe you get a short story every few days of a simple act of kindenss done usually by a stranger. It's most inspiring and exactly what we all need to hear more of.
SL, I want to thank you for choosing to continue with your wonderful blog, in spite of all the pain you're experiencing right now. I'm also glad you have one good hearted person in your life who loves and supports you, and recognizes your good qualities. No one should have to go through a difficult time alone.
You have a lot of readers, myself among them, who truly appreciate your writing and you!
Man, I'm so glad you're back!
Shlomo, I know it's easy for me talk, but give it up.
Some people go through life being both deaf and blind.
What you gona do about it.
Just be yourself.
It's a tough act to follow.
Thank you to all those who choose a new life for themselves "off the path" and are still "menschen" and role models. (hint, hint, SL)
Ben Sorer Moreh
R' Shlaimeh, it's great to have you back.
mnuez
we do indeed live in a thankless world..but isnt it great when unexpectantly someone does smile and say a heartfelt Thank You?
You wrote that very beautifully.
It's sad that when you make a mistake everyone will point that out.
But if you drive an old lady to the hospital the only day of the week you have a few hours for yourself, only she will thank you.
It's as if the important thing in life is to avoid making errors, but not a concrete effort to do good.
Hey, Reb Shleimeh, if you don't start blogging again, you won't ahve to kill yourself because I'll be out there in good ole detroit to blow your fuckin brains out. Y'hear?!
Hey, I just noticed that the word 'hear' has 'ear' in it. Well I'll be damned.
Seriously though R' Shleimeh, you might not know who I am (what with your age and impending jail time and all) but I think you're awesome, and a whole lotta other people think so too, so write your motherfuckin blog, have some good schnapes (and some good cake) and enjoy life a lil more than you've been doing lately. Whadda y'say? ey?
(Fuck, now I'm really hungry for cake. Shoulda wrapped some up at the Bris this morning. Damn. And a bagel with creem cheese and lox too. Damn.)
Jail time?..LOL
Much to the dismay of some, I will not be spending time in any of the fine, luxurious state-run facilties. This isn't a criminal matter, but one of a greedy ex-wife who expects to be continuously rewarded for doing nothing.
There is light at the end of the tunnel, but there aren't any tunnels around here.
Kol Tuv
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