Terri Schiavo

As many of you know, I am a vocal advocate for Right To Death and assisted suicide. I see no reason to prolong the inevitable if the interim is to be spent in a limited mental or severely diminished physical capacity. I want to be resuscitated the first time or maybe second time only, should the emergency arise. I used think that I wouldn’t want that at all, but considering the latest advances in emergency medicine, surgery, and recovery care, the chances of making a good recovery are much greater than in days past. I would hate to think that I’d give up the chance of living again, even for a short time, based upon an outdated sense of reality. One has to keep up with the science to make an informed decision.

I haven’t prepared my Living Will as of yet, but I will soon. Whether one is adamant about remaining alive at all costs or anxious to see what’s on the ‘other side’, having the matter spelled out in black and white cannot hurt at all. Remove all doubt and make your transition as smooth as possible for your loved ones. I had thought about having the words “Do Not Resuscitate” tattooed across my chest, but then found out that, ironically, it is something that has to be put down on paper, and would not be honored by paramedics or trauma nurses in the event of an emergency. But who carries around a living will with them anyhow? If it is tattooed, then I have no worry about losing it, and it will be evident upon treatment exactly what my desires are. I think the issue is about billing, since the ambulance and hospital won’t make as much money following your wishes in this case as they would following their standard procedure. There is little doubt that accountants and lawyers, worried about legal liability and the bottom line, are making more decisions regarding your health care than are doctors and other practitioners of the healing arts.

The Terri Schiavo case is a heart-wrenching one. Terri has been her condition for over 15 years, with little change. If anything, her condition has worsened over time, with more and more of her physical brain dying all the time. She has no cognitive function left and never will retrieve that. I would not want wish to be kept alive knowing ahead of time that my condition would be that bad, but how do we know that she would have wanted the same? Without a living will or some other legally binding declaration i.e. suicide note or video taped confession, how can we be sure? Or at least reasonably sure?

At first I was very critical and super-skeptical of the parent’s determined efforts to keep their daughter alive at all costs. That feeling lasted about 30 seconds. I am sure that the Schindlers are people of great love and faith, perhaps in miracles, perhaps in alternative medicine, and perhaps in the impossible. They loved Terri and want nothing more than to have their daughter back in any way they can have her, even if it means that she remains forever exactly as she is. I cannot say that I wouldn’t feel the same were it my child. My sympathies go out to the Schindlers. I may not agree with what they have caused by this, from either a legal or political standpoint, but one cannot deny their pain and their devotion to a daughter they love. It is a tragedy from all sides.

Those who wish to keep Terri alive have found a villain to blame for everything that thwarts their efforts. Terri’s husband Michael is being made out to look like a Scott Peterson of sorts, now being in a common-law marriage and having children in that relationship, even though his wife was still alive, and in the minds of some, still alive enough to smile, stare, and possibly know her surroundings. Even though ALL the doctors who know Terri’s condition agree that it is beyond recovery and that she has absolutely no cognitive function, we will ignore that fact for just a moment. The real question is “Should Michael have martyred himself at the bedside of his wife?” Or “Don’t you think that Michael and Terri discussed what to do in the event of such an occurrence?” I’ve heard complaints about money and insurance. Could be true, but that question still stands. Should Michael have sacrificed his own life because of his wife’s disaster?

I’ve had a few long-term relationships in the last 15 years, and with the exception of my marriage, where the subject was taboo, in each and every instance, when the subject of euthanasia or DNR (do not resuscitate) comes up in conversation, I state my desires clearly. They may have changed somewhat from my original views, but as they change I let everyone know about those changes so that nobody ever has to guess as to what I want and when I want it. My partners, too, have shared their last wishes with me as well. Similarly, I believe that Michael and Terri did discuss this, since it is something that has been a popular issue for the last two decades, and is important for spouses and relatives to be aware of in the case of sudden illness or accident. Many couples put a plan of action in place for such an event, even if not on paper or with an attorney present. That Michael would know his wife’s feeling on the matter and be able to speak for her is well within the realm of reasonable, if not probable.

If you love someone you don’t wish to see him or her suffer. If I were married, and suffered such a horrible fate as Terri has, even if I still had some cognitive function still available, I would NEVER expect my wife to ‘immolate’ herself on the pyre of my suffering. That kind of senseless devotion is akin to slavery, still practiced in some cultures where women are considered the property of their husbands even after death, or as in our culture, when marital vows and expectations of ‘forever’ drive couples into unrealistic images of their relationships. If I loved my spouse, I would not want her to remain lonely on my account. If we love someone, we want him or her to be happy, and we certainly do not wish to be at cause for his or her suffering through our own situation. It is reasonable that Michael and Terri would have discussed this matter, too.

It is also not surprising that Terri would NOT have discussed it with her parents. Parents are not the people who you talk to when you are thinking about writing a will, committing suicide, or preparing for the inevitable, even if the subject is purely financial. Parents cannot imagine the death of their own child, and cannot stomach that kind of talk. They hope to be long gone and well into whatever the afterlife holds for them when it comes time for their offspring to confront these issues. One does not normally share the same ideas with parents that one would with friends and spouses. So, once again, it is reasonable to assume that Terri did not ever mention her wishes to die to her parents, and they, therefore, would have no idea what she really wanted.

I believe the Florida courts made the right decision. I can’t say that I’m not enjoying seeing the Republicants ‘eating crow’ on this one. The political fallout of this event, however, is insignificant compared to the emotional turmoil felt by all who love and care about Terri Schiavo. Even if Terri, herself, has no idea what’s going on.

My condolences and best wishes go out to her husband, her parents, and her friends. May we never be left, as patients or mourners, in question, in doubt, or in suffering.