A New R-E-S-P-E-C-T

“The bonds that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each others life. Rarely do members of one family grow up under the same roof.” (Richard Bach)

I have persistently, and often quite stubbornly, held my own mishpocho in somewhat lower esteem for many years. Perhaps I have been merely justifying my own self-inflicted cherem and the cherished 'philosophy' that follows by finding fault with family members wherever and whenever possible. It is not that I ever considered them as 'bad' people, but I did mistakenly view them as somewhat niderik in light of my own standards. Whatever the reason, I stand here, today, a nichne. I am now humbled beyond shiflus, into a place of pure R-E-S-P-E-C-T and awe for what someone in my family has been doing for a long time. I pride myself on being smart, being strong, and being clever, but in truth, nothing impresses me more than emesdike chasodim. Kindnesses demolish ga'avah and the façade that becomes built around it. All the knowledge or power I might possess becomes as nothing in the light of such overwhelming ahavah.

It recently came to my knowledge that my kleinste shvester (she is not so little anymore) has been involved with an international moysed that performs a particular sort of chessed. She attends national meetings, writes newsletters, publicizes events, and speaks at seminars all over the country. She has become a beacon of strength and inspiration for 1000s of people. She has never breathed a word of this to anyone, even amongst her own family. It was all I could do to not start bawling (funn shtoltz farn zie und boosha ofen zich) when I learned of my sister’s ‘mission’ in life. I will not share details for the obvious reasons. I just want to say that I am so proud of what she does and who she is, and that I never would have imagined, knowing her as I did (or obviously did not!), that she was capable of such levels of ma'asim tovim and ibergegebenkeit. If you would have, yesterday, picked her out of a crowd and said to me, "That woman will be doing great and wonderful things someday.", I would have laughed in your face. Today, I am beaming with nachas! That whiny little 'princess' who moaned and cried about every little slight, perceived or real, is now changing the world and changing lives for the better.

I am completely ‘blown away’ by all of this. It just goes to show that we never know what kindnesses people are capable of, in part because we’re just not paying attention, and in part because the true gomlei chessed do not flaunt it. She makes the world a better place for 1000s of people. I want to thank her for being her. There is a woman among the lamed vovniks of this world, and she is my ‘baby’ sister. May all brochos and simchos be hers. I can’t imagine anyone more deserving. She has definitely earned her “Arethas” with me! I am sorry for misjudging her, but that might have been her plan all along.

Kol Tuv

"That best portion of a good man's life. His little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love.” (William Wordsworth, 1770 - 1850)

“This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness.” (Dalai Lama)